Category: death

a doctor from EXIT calls. my medical file is complete; my “certificat de discernement” is good, but i have to send another hand-written letter. i do and then, we meet on november 13, 2025, the day my grand-father died years and years ago. a grand-father who was a tresaure of a man but whom i…

“love” is trusting that the other has some knowledge that i do not have “love” is being thirsty for that knowledge whatever it is “love” is asking for that knowledge to be shared “love” is ……

October 2025To the person who has the responsibility to consider my file and my manuscript letterBonjour,i undersigned gregoire ausgraben makes the formal request today that EXIT accepts to medically assist me towards my death and during my dying, as soon as i decide it is time to depart. i am a member of your organization…

i report weeks of struggle with my skin. bites, skin irritations or dermatitis or allergy or….weeks of struggle with a loss of integrity, with the feeling that my boundaries are being cut through over and over when not torn down by overstimulation. and then, what if all this is about an infestation? well, then, despite…

i do not have the courage to try to come back into your reality. i am on alert, constantly. something in me is extremely sad and my left foot hurts, red, swollen, as if it wanted to be a second heart because the first one is not sufficient. no, no, these are not only words.…

i am terrified.alone.where are you?

PTSD on death smell. august 14, 7am, time for morning salutations to the 4 directions. i go out. there is a very bad smell. maybe it is from a farmer not so far and they are applying an animal-based fertilizer. or, maybe it is from the construction site next door. i kneel in front of…

death 3: Nitschke i have just read The mists surrounding the Sarco: A reconstruction full of ethical dilemmas, political beliefs and legal conundrums. by Effting, Door Maud, Kraak, Haro and Verwiel, Erik, with photography by Linelle Deunk and Veerle Haan. The Volksrant, October 26, 2024.and i am crying. i bow to the exquisite philosophy behind…

death 2: my own”No wonder we cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke: that the horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inseparable from the horrific struggle. That our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home.” – David Foster Wallace in “Consider the Lobster…

treasure-button 3, august 10, 2025 treasure-button 2, august 10, 2025 treasure-button 1, august 9, 2025