skin

i report weeks of struggle with my skin. 

bites, skin irritations or dermatitis or allergy or....

weeks of struggle with a loss of integrity, with the feeling that my boundaries are being cut through over and over when not torn down by overstimulation. and then, what if all this is about an infestation? well, then, despite my utter need for connection, i need to stay away to protect you. utter loneliness. vibration between a desire to die, terror, and efforts to access my own spiritual beauty. 

well, i am this human being and i am trapped, unable to activate my spontaneity towards social and political change in our fucked up world. i am ashamed and yes, i am the only one who can "save" my soul. but, in fact, no. 

the terror to exist is something we share.