Author: admin

  • death 2

    death 2: my own”No wonder we cannot appreciate the really central Kafka joke: that the horrific struggle to establish a human self results in a self whose humanity is inseparable from the horrific struggle. That our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home.” – David Foster Wallace in “Consider the Lobster…

  • treasure-buttons

    treasure-button 3, august 10, 2025 treasure-button 2, august 10, 2025 treasure-button 1, august 9, 2025

  • death 1

    death 1: it is not easy to die. here is some digging into legal and medical frames in canada and switzerland.i started to talk about assisted suicide quite a while back and this was in toronto where i lived from 1998 to 2022. reminder: “in canada, assisted suicide became legal in 2015 after a legal…

  • crise d’appartenance: famille transphobe. père admirable et épuisé avec sa femme en maladie d’Alzheimer et son refus d’ouvrir sa cellule familiale. une maison remplie de mémoires et de cris. 3ème étage. ça tremble. bruit de construction, bruit dans la tête, bruit dans le coeur, bruit dans les étages inférieurs. suis-je coupable. j’entends un bravo. beauté.…

  • screams downstairs, at her who lives with Alzheimer’s disease. i lose sensation in my arms and legs. my heart jumps. my head becomes blurry. sensation comes back but in fleeting ways. it is here, and then it is not, again, then here and then, not. shoulders, and then hands. thighs and then feet. and then.…

  • november 5, 2024. post no 2. relationality as identity in Māori philosophy. i have felt a strong resonance recently with a text by Katarina Gray-Shap in “Decolonizing Animals” (2023). Gray-Sharp identifies as Ngāti Rangi, Ngāti Raukawa, Ngāti Kauwhata, Ngāti Rangiwewehi. she is a Māori established academic, currently working at the Te Amorangi Trust Museum in…

  • november 4, 2024. pain in my right hand, arnica gel, comforting bandage. an old injury from a cute but sick toronto raccoon bite has been reactivated. i am lucky that no pocket of bacteria formed in my tissues from the serious infection i got then. it is painful, but it teaches a lot about my…

  • october 31, 2024. gregoire ausgraben is overwhelmed. débordé. too much: too much noise around, still. 8 cranes, excavators, cement mixers, concrete vibrators, lawn moving tractors, military F18 and F35 and private planes, wood sawing machines, etc. noise inside: tinnitus and a pile of worries for my parents and my health and future. he feels stuck,…

  • Untitled post 206

    PTSD travel

  • gregoire ausgraben is terrified. he seems to have come to a vibration level where every gesture absurdly seems like a gesture of pure survival. there is nothing else left than a (traumatized) mind controlling a destiny. there is no love. there is no sacred space. there is no heart. there is nothing. there is only…