gregoire ausgraben can dream. i have dreamt at night and in my days. and i tried over and over to keep and then to create a community, tiny or larger, where i could live safely with like-minded people and interdependently. it failed, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight times. i have left. i am far. i am spiralling down. i am enraged. i am dissociating. i have the urge to find out what human darkness was there and is here. i want to ask you why. why wasn't it possible. i know there won’t be answers. our hearts will break and then, it will be worse. privileges, mine included, are not good conversation subjects. so, shut the fuck up gregoire.
april 1, 2023